Yeah, Friday!!

FOR TODAY
Friday, January 29, 2010... (I did this at 7:30 this morning)
Outside my window...It is a beautiful sunny day again, but still pretty cold.
I am thinking...that I can sleep in tomorrow!
I am thankful for... today
From the kitchen...dishes!
I am wearing...jeans and pink sweatshirt
I am creating...absolutely nothing
I am going...to work
I am reading...John Grisham, The Associate
I am hoping...I'm not too tired today
I am hearing...the Today Show
Around the house...oh so warm!
One of my favorite things..orange juice!
A few plans for the rest of the week: tonight, nothing, the rest of the weekend, not much
Here is picture for thought I am sharing...(add your picture here)

Just read the blog of a woman who suffers from depression. I could be her! So much of her writing were things I have/am experiencing. Depression has been with me now longer than I care to remember. Lately, like her, I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed. So many things are happening to Jamie and Cory and, mom that I am, I can't stand that they are suffering. In turn, I am suffering as well. It even got to the point where Dan said he has thoughts of leaving me. I have never ever had feelings of "ending it all" thank goodness. But the end of another relationship might just push me over. Dan says he feels I am taking advantage of him. I don't know where he is getting that from ... or maybe I do. Maybe all the energy I use worrying about my kids... He has never had his own family. He was a late-in-life child and was spoiled. He is very self-involved and still spoiled, although he also has this huge heart and would help anyone if he could. I feel sort of dead inside with the words he used. The joy I used to have making a home with him are sort of gone. He has a home at the lake...notice I used the word "he" and not "us?" I will never ever feel like that place is "ours." The pride I have felt in that little place won't be there anymore. Every day that we are together, I will wonder if I am doing okay in his eyes...if I am up to his standards, if I am keeping him happy enough.

I guess if anyone is reading this, maybe send a little prayer my way too....